Aphrodite visits upon Todd Akin in his bed chamber...

...her hair ordered with a white diadem, carrying a sceptre. She begins to gently stir herself; with gradual, lingering steps, restrained swaying of the hips, and a slow inclination of the head she advances, her refined movements matching the soft wounds of some flutes somewhere.

AKIN
(sits at his computer table, pants around his ankles, flushed and sweating profusely; though he addresses her he scarcely looks up from his keyboard)
*Gasp* Oh... god! You... little... hottie... are you a dirty bad girl?

APHRODITE
No, I am Aphrodite. Wide o'er man my realm extends, and proud the name that I, the goddess of Cypris, bear, both in heaven's courts and 'mongst all those who dwell within the limits of the sea and the bounds of Atlas, beholding the sun-god's light.

AKIN
Oh!! Ugh!! Uh!! Are you a s-s-s-slut? Ugh-hh... urgh.. *squeak* are you a naughty bad girl? Dirty bad... ugh-hh... doing bad... ugh-hh *shudder* bad things?

APHRODITE
...

AKIN
Oh... ough... *squeak* argh.. ugh... you PIG! YOU SEX PIG! You... ARGH... you hate this don't you? You hate this... demeaning sex act, don't you? Dirty little hottie... ugh...

APHRODITE
Those that respect my power I advance to honour, but bring to ruin all who vaunt themselves at me.

—editors