Today, in Midtown Manhattan...

Today, in Midtown Manhattan, a horrific seventy-five car accident claimed the lives of fifteen cab drivers, twelve truck drivers, ten commercial motorists, nine bike messengers, seven bike commuters, four employees of the department of motor vehicles, four real estate agents, three census takers, two government clerks, two postdoctoral students of sociology: one from NYU, another from Columbia; two professional stage mothers, two belligerent homeless drunks previously convicted of public intoxication and lewd conduct, and one principal of a public elementary school, all of whom suffered ludicrously grotesque unspeakably grisly and interminably slow painful deaths. In sadder news, a beloved ninety-seven year old father, grandfather and great-grandfather, died peacefully in the arms of his children.