The Market Stalls & others in a similar vein, by Christopher Barnes

Darlington sparks into a motley.

     “Guilty of taking part”

Timpani, contortionist, you and me.

     “A steady flow of friends,
     Party members and journalists”

Push or shoves, eye-lash flickers,
Missing hardboiled features.

     “A book called The International Jew”

A full-scope rove. Squall breathy in hair.

     “Persuading fascists to seek the mass”

Snap – all’s night-blind.

     “The passionate voice
     And dramatic bodily gestures”

The nail-bomber scars his mark on history.

     “The techniques of propaganda”


Clas Ohlson

The Useful Ones
In A World Full Of Practical Problems,
One Store Gives All The Solutions.

QUOTES: John Simkin, Spartacus Educational

Blemishes & Character
A close-resemblance skin pustule.

     “In the interests of quality”

This song and dance can be muted.

     “The ideal male face
     Combines some contradictory characteristics”

Draw tight your insufferable demeanour,
Slobber it bare.

     “Difficult to visualize
     And cold be quite horrific to imagine”

Melanoma isn’t the clear-cut undercurrent
For a grit in the neck.

     “To finesse this feature combination”


Step: 2
Re-Charge Black Pepper Shave Oil
Conditioning Shave Oil
Packed With Natural Plant Oils
For Sensitive, Rough Or Dry Skin
Incredible Post-Shave Feel
Deeply Conditioning
Minimises Razor Burn

QUOTES: Scarlet Wilde, The Perfect Male Face

The Party’s Over
Dogtoothed gables. Ridge rib vaulting.

     “40 is a myth”

Eyesore pedestal creeps through nimbus sky.

     “The beginning of the end”

Case-in-point corncockles, gone to seed.

     “Synonymous with forgetfulness”

Flagsticked greens. Skuzzed-up sashed windows.

     “Slower at completing simple”

Door-jambs. Constricting warp and weft.

     “Pictures and digits, and their ability”


Smear Free Shine
Window & Glass Cleaner
With Added Vinegar For Sparkling Results
Reduces Misting

QUOTES: Nicole Martin, The Telegraph

Take Your Pick
Fingers rub at petty considerations,
Un-nesting pockets. A piercing flair.

     “They don’t call it retail therapy for nothing”

Round-ups veer, stirring in new blood.

     “A study has found”

Palpability stops at nothing.

     “A lasting positive attitude””

Close-at-hand – this hot-spot’s glass and chrome,
Express-ways, flawless release.

     “Thousands of interviews at shopping centres”

Leakage is a whack.

     “Buying habits, moods
     And any purchases they regretted”

They can re-stock.

     “A small treat item available at the checkout”


20 Blues & Soul Classics

Blues Brother Soul Sister
Volume Two
John Lee Hooker & Bonnie Raitt
Martha Reeves & The Vandellas
Aretha Franklin
Junior Walker
Albert King
Al Green
Ike & Tina Turner
James Brown
BB King
And Many More

QUOTES: Daily Mail

In 1998, Christopher Barnes won a Northern Arts writers award. In July 2000 he read at Waterstones bookshop to promote the anthology 'Titles Are Bitches'. Christmas 2001 he debuted at Newcastle's famous Morden Tower, doing a reading of his poems. Each year he reads for Proudwords lesbian and gay writing festival and partakes in workshops. 2005 saw the publication of his collection LOVEBITES, published by Chanticleer Press, 6/1 Jamaica Mews, Edinburgh.

On Saturday 16th August 2003, he read at the Edinburgh Festival as a Per Verse poet at LGBT Centre, Broughton St.

He also has a BBC web-page.

Christmas 2001, the Northern Cultural Skills Partnership sponsored him to be mentored by Andy Croft in conjunction with New Writing North. He made a radio programme for Web FM community radio about his writing group. October-November 2005, he entered a poem/visual image into the art exhibition the Art Cafe Project, and his piece Post-Mark was shown in Betty's Newcastle. This event was sponsored by Pride on the Tyne. He made a digital film with artists Kate Sweeney and Julie Ballands at a film making workshop called Out of the Picture, which was shown at the festival party for Proudwords. It contains his poem the Old Heave-Ho. He worked on a collaborative art and literature project called How Gay Are Your Genes, facilitated by Lisa Mathews (poet), which exhibited at the Hatton Gallery, Newcastle University, and included a film piece by the artist Predrag Pajdic in which Barnes read his poem On Brenkley St. The event was funded by the Policy, Ethics and Life Sciences Research Institute, Bio-science Centre at Newcastle's Centre for Life. 

He was involved in the Five Arts Cities poetry postcard event which exhibited at the Seven Stories children's literature building. In May he had 2006 a solo art/poetry exhibition at The People's Theatre. The South Bank Centre in London recorded his poem "The Holiday I Never Had"; he can be heard reading it on

He has written poetry reviews for Poetry Scotland and Jacket Magazine, and in August 2007, made a film called 'A Blank Screen, 60 seconds, 1 shot' for Queerbeats Festival at the Star & Shadow Cinema Newcastle, reviewing a poem. On September 4 2010, he read at the Callander Poetry Weekend hosted by Poetry Scotland. He has also written art criticism for Peel and Combustus Magazines.