Our Heroes by Troy Prichard

As unlikely as some myths are, there are some that you might wish were true. This may be one of them. In a land never far enough away from Iowa there lies a kingdom; this land is one of the few truly wonderful places to live. Partly because the Queen of this land, named Queen Cheezit, has long reigned with a firm hand and an iron clad constitution. One her first decrees was that mean people suck, and people that suck were to be from the kingdom. A tragedy of epic proportions is about to strike at the very heart and soul of this land and all the cool people who call this place home. This is where our story begins.

Queen Cheezit looks up from the coffee she has been sipping. She lets a soft sigh of contentment as the light from the windows softly reminds her that morning is breaking. Slowly she looks from side to side, cautiously soaking up the quiet of the hall that holds her throne, and rightfully so, because it is quiet without a care. She takes in a deep breath and comments "It is good to be the Queen."

After taking another sip of coffee, the calm of the morning is broken by the sounds of alarms from the front gates and courtyards that surround the castle. The Queen cries out for her right hand hand maiden "Java Junky come here at once."

Java Junky appears on her right side and inquires “Yes my lady I am here. In what way may I serve you today?"

"Find out the nature of the disturbance that has the alarms going off. The last time there was a ruckus like this I almost had to banish them two hooligans at the pro nudity rally.” Throwing her hands up into the air. “Not that they sucked but they were entirely too enthusiastic about the whole thing."

"Yes my lady."

Before Java Junky even takes her first step, the door of the Queen's hall bursts open; a herald from one of the front courts runs to the feet of his Queen and declares "The Crispy's are back. They've been ransacking factories that make Cheezits, cake and orange juice. And, oh good Lord have mercy upon me, for I dare not speak this aloud from my lips." With a trembling hand he motions for Java Junky to come over.

Java Junky bends down to hear what he has to tell her. Within seconds Java Junky gasps in horror; she swoons in a panicked moment of despair from the shock of the revelation. While still struggling to compose herself she announces "He says the Crispy’s know about the chocolate and coffee we keep in the castle and they are coming here to take it all, every last morsel and every last drop."

The Queen leans forward on her throne to bury her head in her hands. After a few moments of her own subdued desperation she too composes herself. She declares in a queenly fashion "Heroes! we need heroes. Java Junky, do we have any heroes?"

Java Junky rushes and kneels before her Queen "No my lady we have no heroes."

"How can we have no heroes in our kingdom? Don’t we have anyone, I mean anyone who would take a stand to defend what he believes in?"

"Well, my lady, it pains me to say this but the two hooligans you almost banished had the courage and fortitude to take a stand for what they believe in?"

"Nudity?"

"It’s a stretch I know, but you did ask."

"These are truly dark and perilous times. How can we ever find these hooligans in time to save our kingdom?"

Java Junky stands before her Queen as a spark of hope beams from her eyes "Today is Tuesday. They will both be at O.J.'s bar, grill and strip club. After their morning coffee, Tuesday will be smoking something he should not and Cake man will drinking something he should not. Up until 11 o’clock they will be watching women dress and undress themselves."

The Queen asks "What happens at 11 o’clock?"

"They take their moms out to lunch at the Bag and Save store where they enjoy taco Tuesday."

"Why would they watch women dress and undress themselves all morning long. Why don’t they just get hookers or something?"

"That’s what Thursdays are for. And if you remember they were very enthusiastic about women and nudity at the nudity rally."

"Yes I do remember them now. Enthusiastic is definitely the word for them. Why would you know where they are at and what they are doing?"

"My lady you did ask me to keep an eye on them two."

"Hmm... now that you mention it I do remember asking you to watch over them. Java Junky, I do hereby charge you with bringing these two hooligans before me."

Java Junky curtsies then gladly replies "Yes my lady I will do just that." She quickly dashes off to the right side of the queen’s court.

In just a moment the Queens sights Java Junky walking across the court with a medium-sized staff with probes on the end, and she asks "Excuse me Java Junky is that a one-hundred forty-thousand volt stun stick?"
With a wry smile Java Junky replies "Oh no my lady. Clearly the one-hundred forty-thousand volt stun stick is for amateurs. This is the state of the art two-hundred forty-thousand volt stun stick with the optional chain lightning feature. Solid state capacitors and lithium batteries will make sure that this is the gift that keeps on giving."

"And you need that for?"

"Encouragement my lady."

Just moments after waving off Java Junky off the Queen circumspectly looks around to see if anyone else is there. Sure that she is alone, she reaches around the left side of her throne and pulls out her one-hundred forty-thousand volt stun stick. “Looks like it’s time for an upgrade.”

A little later both Tuesday and Cake man walk into the Queens court with their hair standing on end. (They both look like buckwheat having a bad hair day.) Tuesday touches Cake man, discharging some of the extra static electricity he has in his body. Both let out a giggle then Cake man touches Tuesday on the shoulder, resulting in giggles and static discharge yet again.

Cake man tells Tuesday “I saw you eyes roll back and say tilt.”

“Liar, they did not. I got two bells and a pickle.” Tuesday touches Cake man on the shoulder “You look like a pinball machine.”

Cake man exclaims “Liar, I got two bars and a wild card.”

“Liar, oh come on now we ain’t even playing golf right now.”

The Queen beckons “Java Junky we don’t have time for these shenanigans! Do something to dampen their spirits. We have more pressing matters to attend too.”

Java Junky gleefully replies “With due haste my lady.”

Cake man declares “Really! Watch this then.” He reaches down to his trousers giving them a little tug. And small handful of casino chips roll out of his pant legs beyond his shoes and stop on the floor.

Tuesday comments “Well I'll be dipped in.”

Java Junky tosses a bucket of cold water on the two soon-to-be-heroes, completely dousing them from head to toe.

Cake man “Or drenched.”

Tuesday adds “I am not going to ask where they came from.”

Cake man replies “Good because I'm not going to tell.”

The Queen bellows “Now listen up you two. Crispy and his evil hordes are on the way up to the castle. We need to stop them in their tracks and banish them from the kingdom. You two are hereby charged with defending the castle.”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yeah this sounds like a real buzz kill?”

“Yep pretty much.”

“Yeah we just don’t know about this. I mean we got to get back to the club, if I don’t help Ginette with her straps the twins could be uneven all day.”

“Yeah and Amber has a heck of time with her g-string: if that isn’t just right it could ride up on her.”

“Yeah them clothes can be tricky things you know.”

“It takes a man with just the right touch to.”

“Java Junky if you please.”

Our heroes are once again blasted with an outsized bucket of water and are now standing in a pool of water.
Java Junky fires up the chain lightning option on her stun stick; she leaves an arc of lightning that just seems to linger over the heads of our heroes.

“Whoa!!!”

“That’s scary cool.”

While still looking up at the arc “Dare you to touch it.”

“I double dog dare you to touch it.”

As soon as Java Junky starts tapping the end of her stun stick into the pool of water the heroes are still standing in, silence can once again be heard in the Queens court.

The Queen points to hero on the right and ask “What is your name?”

“I am Cake man. I am called that because I played football in college for the scholarship in culinary arts where I became a dessert chef. I make the cake. I eat the cake. I am Cake man.

“And you what is your name?”

“My name is Tuesday. I own and operate O.J.’s bar, grill and strip club.”

“Why did your Mom name you Tuesday?”

“Because the name Friday was already taken. Besides I never argued with Mom about that I know better. ”

“Yeah he’s right you don’t mess with Mom.”

“Right now this very minute Crispy and his evil minions are breaching the front doors to the castle.”

Tuesday claims “We are lovers, not fighters.”

Cake man adds “Yeah I don’t know about you but I am just not feeling the love here are you?”

Tuesday nods his head back and forth “Nope now that you mention it I am not feeling it either.”

Java Junky curtsies before the Queen “My lady. May I?”

The Queen “You may.”

Java Junky turns to our heroes and declares “Crispy and his evil minions are bringing clothes with them. Women’s clothes.”

These words have stolen Tuesday's and Cake man's full attention. “Are we talking Victoria secret assorted bikinis and teddies?”

“We’re talking full length dresses, turtleneck sweaters.” Both Tuesday and cake man are cringing from the mere sound of these cursed words. “Parkas.” Both men gasp out loud. “And Hoop skirts.”

With both men are nearly faint from the horror of the moment.

Almost in tears Cake man asks “Are the hoop skirts the ones with the poodles on them?”

Amidst his sobs Tuesday cries out “No Cake man hoop skirts are the ones that make the butt look as big as the rear end of a Buick.”

Java Junky adds “More like a 59 Caddy.”

“I think I need a hug.”

“Me too.”

Java Junky is quick to revitalize the wounded hearts of our downtrodden heroes “I have prepared one of my special blends of coffee that will put fire in your souls, unbridle boundless energy from your bodies, fortify you against the weakness of doubt and indeed make you spit in the very eye of despair.”

“What is she saying?”

“I don’t know she lost me at unbridled.”

“This stuff will put hair on your chest.” With the smile of a pixie “Amongst other things.” Sheepishly she looks down her blouse then smiles again.

Both of our heroes gulp down the mysterious morning blend. Within seconds they are standing tall and stretching to reach never before seen boundaries of raw power of body and determination of mind.

“I don’t think they are supposed to drink it that fast. Hmm.” Java Junky quickly turns to the Queen and offers her the last cup “Well my lady here is your cup.”

“Java Junky, my dear right hand hand maiden, where is your cup?”

“I am thankful for your concern my lady, but I had my cup a half an hour ago and it is good for five hours amongst other things as you well know.” As the queen takes her first sips Java junky quickly looks down her blouse again.”

The queen smiles as she softly inquires “This is our special morning blend isn’t it?”

With a dimpled smile Java Junky replies “Yes my lady, it certainly is.”

“Good call.”

“Thank you my lady.”

A large crash at the front doors is both heard and felt. Seconds later, Crispy’s evil minions pile through the now open doors.

“Good guys or bad guys?”

After looking down her blouse the Queen smiles then she sees the flood of evil invading her court. The immediacy of the moment has stolen her smile as she kicks it in to queenly overdrive “SICK 'EM BOYS!!!”
“LET’S ROCK!!!”

Java Junky unplugs her stun stick from the two-forty outlet she has been charging it with. Tuesday assumes a stance with a Zen-like focus of attention to brave the flood of evil heading his way.

It is Cake man who is first to take the fight to the enemy. With his outstretched arms he mows them down like a bowling ball bowling for dollars. With a reckless abandon he plows a path effectively cutting the mass down to two groups.

(Tuesday’s combination of Aikido and Wushu would make Jet Li proud and Steven Segal cringe and curl up in a fetal position.) With neither any quarter nor discretion, Tuesday blazes a trail leaving behind broken and dislocated limbs in his wake.

Java Junky is quick to use her stun stick as a quarterstaff. What she doesn’t hit she stuns. Quickly she dispatches her foes one right after another. When the opportunely presents itself she will fire up the chain lighting option or her stun stick dropping sometimes half a dozen bad guys or more. With the grace of a Hungarian gypsy dancer and the flexibility of a gymnast she deftly weaves her way through the hordes of evil minions.

Tuesday is almost knocked down by one the flying bodies. He yells “Cake man. You mind? I’m working here.”

With his hands now up in the air Cake man bellows “What?”

“Throw the bodies that way. Towards the door, not at me.”

Cake man gives a thumbs up as he starts throwing bodies towards the door.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

The Queen beckons “Tuesday, I say, Tuesday this is a Godly kingdom and if you are going to break things off of people please be a little more quiet about the breaking of bones, it is quite distressing you know.”
Holding a dismembered arm he quickly hides behind his back, Tuesday dutifully replies “I’m going to get right on that.”

Cake man reconnoiters the court and sees that there are just too many people and bodies: it's even getting hard to walk with the floor so littered with bodies. With a heavy heart he know what he has to do. Quickly he climbs up to the second story balcony that wraps its way around the great hall.

He takes hold of the rope that hangs from the ceiling. This rope is usually reserved for Saturday nights long after the Queen has gone to bed and everyone has had way too much to drink. In his experienced hands even he knows that “This is going to hurt.”

Java Junky yells out “Tuesday watch out! Saturday night incoming!”

Tuesday sidesteps the wake of the wrath to come. Through pursed lips he thinks to himself “Oh no Cake man don’t do it.” Although he wants to hang his head down he knows Cake man is taking one for the team and has to watch the sacrifice of his lifelong friend.

Like a gallant knight, Cake man thrusts his body off the balcony, propelling himself in to the midst of the horde of evil minions. His body pushes the bad guys towards the door like a snow shovel scooping snow. The weight of the bodies has shut the door for the time being.

Tuesday and Java Junky drag his body towards the Queen's throne and gently lay him on the bare floor. Java Junky takes care of the loose ends and stragglers so Tuesday can take care of Cake man. Even the queen is both moved and saddened by this gesture of bravery.

“He’s alive but unconscious.”

Java Junky motions for Tuesday to get out of the way. She blasts Cake man with half a bucket of water. He stirs a little, still not coming to. Tuesday pulls out his phone and searches the menu for a picture. After finding the picture he was looking for, he opens one of Cake man's eyes and brings the phone to his face to show him. “Look Cake man look. We need you back Cake man.

“Hmm.”

“What is it? A picture of angel food cake?”

“Not exactly.”

“Devil’s food cake.”

“Not exactly.”

“Hmmm yummy.”

“Is it marble cake?”

“Not exactly.”

“No! no! no! leave them on. I mean it, you are going to love wearing them black fishnet stockings as much as I like looking at them. Yep, here we go, just a little adjustment on the suspenders for your garter belt and you’ll be good for all day long.

Java Junky exclaims “I can’t believe you guys.”

The Queen adds “I don’t know what is more disturbing. A man that knows that garter belts could have suspenders or that a man could be helpful in adjusting them.”

Tuesday looks both the Queen and Java Junky in the eye as he calmly replies “Any woman can get naked by herself. But when it comes time to get dressed and feel every bit as good as you look that’s where we come in. Women are walking, talking works of art and we are in our own way art lovers.”

With a crash the doors momentarily bow inwards.

The Queen beckons “We don’t have time for this.”

Tuesday tells Cake man “I really didn’t want to have to do this but we are deep in it this time.” Tuesday starts ripping off Cake mans shirt revealing a bright red Husker's jersey.

“Java Junky, check the window and see how many more of Crispy’s evil minions are still out there.”

“More.”

“Are you going to tell me that you are just going to sit on your butt with a Husker's jersey on? What if Bob Devaney or Tom Osborne were here seeing you sitting on your butt like this what would you tell them?”

“Java Junky how much more?”

“Put me in coach.”

“Uhmm more.”

“OH come on now! A girl scout selling cookies sounds more enthusiastic than that.”

“Yeah but how much more?”

“Put me in coach!”

“I can’t hear you if you are still sitting on your butt. You're not worthy of wearing that jersey.”

“Uhmm like a lot more.”

“That still doesn’t tell me how much more is out there? Java Junky I insist you tell me this instant.”

“My lady I hope you didn’t have any plans for lunch or dinner for that matter.”

“Put me in coach. I can do this.”

Sarcastically “Wow I almost believed you that time. How about it Java Junky what do you think?”

“Nope I’m just not feeling it”

Still shaking his head in mock disappointment as he walks way from Cake man “Me neither. You know just relax for a little while maybe we can get you a pillow or something. We can handle this just sit this one out for now.”

Cake man gets up. Veins in his neck bulge; as his face get redder and redder even his ears start changing color. His voice has a booming bass as he declares “Put me in coach I am Cake man!” He bellows with an energy that reverberates off the wall and ceiling.

Tuesday turns to face him “Now that's the Cake man I know”

Java Junky “Yep I’d buy that for a dollar”

Cake man asks “Hey is it just me or is the Queen packing heat?”

Startled both Java Junky and Tuesday turn and look towards the Queen.

Tuesday asks “Isn’t that a AA12 automated assault twelve-gauge shotgun that shoots shot, slugs and grenade rounds?”

Java Junky gasp. “My lady how could you wield such a weapon of lethality in our God fearing kingdom?”

“I will not be missing lunch today. Don’t look at me that way. You have your hobbies and I have mine. I enjoy skeet shooting.”

Cake man tosses in “With 20 round magazines?”

“I don’t like to miss.” Snapping the twenty round magazine in place. “And for the record today I am loaded up with bean bag rounds. Bean bag rounds traveling at six-hundred miles an hour will not kill you but they will ruin your day.”

“Are we ready?”

All of our heroes yell “Yeah!!”

“Let loose the dogs of war!”

“What?”

“When the Queen is packing she sure sounds stoic and serious all of a sudden.”

“She don’t like missing lunch. Cake man, open the doors: it's time to bring the pain and a lot of it.”

“Now that’s kind of talk I understand.”

The deluge of Crispy’s evil minions flow through the doors like water out of a garden hose. Bad guys, evil doers, mistresses of mayhem all hellbent on doing the bidding of their evil lord Crispy.

Bodies flying everywhere. Limbs torn, twisted, and even missing. Chain lighting feedback fire storms, burns with a ferocity the likes of which have never been seen before in recorded history. Ron Popiel would never have seen this coming but would have loved to make the infomercial. But wait there’s more. Bean bags flying at just a shade less than supersonic speeds slam mercilessly into bad guy after bad guy after bad guy. The Queen really doesn’t like missing and is nothing less than relentless in her onslaught. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Lunch will happen today.

This time it's Tuesday’s and Cake man’s turn to pick up the stragglers. Java Junky glides back to be at her Queen’s side. All of a sudden, from behind the columns that line both sides of the Queen's great hall, about a half a dozen of Crispy’s henchmen jump Java Junky. Java Junky yells “My lady if you please.”

“No one touches my right hand hand maiden!” The AA12 barks out shots with a deafening blast. The last of evil hordes drop to the floor leaving only our heroes standing. While the dust settles it seems apparent that good has once again triumphed over evil.

As our heroes gather by the Queen's throne, evil has once again cast its angry shadow over the Queen’s court. Java Junky’s attention is drawn to the source of the shadow on the second floor she gasps “It’s Crispy!”

“Curse’s Curse’s to one and all of you. I would have had it all if it weren’t for you meddling heroes. I would have had everything: the Cheez it’s, the orange juice, the cake, and the chocolate and coffee. But you, miss goody two shoes, had to ruin everything.”

“Why are you talking about food we thought you were bringing clothes to ruin our fair kingdom?”

“I didn’t bring anything but my evil hordes and the mayhem they enjoy. I came to take what I want.”

Sheepishly Java Junky “Clearly we may have been misinformed of your intentions.”

“Well isn’t taking all of our cool food almost as bad as bringing clothes?”

“Almost.”

“Crispy your reign of terror ends today.” With a steely resolve the Queen pulls back the bolt to her AA12 loading a shell from a freshly loaded magazine. “I hereby banish you from our land. Post haste and post mortem.”

“Your bean bags will not stop me, my body armor will deflect any and all non lethal rounds.”

“I’m all out of bean bags.”

“Shot shells?”

Java Junky rush’s over in front of her Queen blocking any shot she may have at Crispy. “My lady if you kill him you will compromise the values of our God-fearing kingdom. You will be just as evil as he is. Please my lady I beg you to reconsider.”

“Slugs?”

“Yeah, well, for a couple of years now I've been considering putting in a veranda at the window next to which Crispy is standing, and right now I am in the mood for a little interior decorating.”

“Grenades yep, definitely, grenades.”

“Java Junky! step aside and let me exact the punishment due with such wretchedness.”

“No my lady, I will not step aside and let you compromise both yourself and the God fearing values our kingdom has lived by.”

“Yeah. Some might see the way things are here as sort of soft and sissy like but we like the way things are here and the direction our kingdom is going.”

“She’s right, we like living here because everyone is cool.”

“This evil needs to stop today and right now.”

“My lady, evil will come and go, but good will always triumph.”

“Hey Crispy, have you ever been to Cornucopia. It’s like 2 kingdoms north then one kingdom to the west. They have caramel popcorn that is that is made to order right at your table. They make caramel from scratch right in front of your very eyes then they pour it in the popcorn kettle and stir it all up then use a rubber spatula to just plop it on to your paper plate.”

“And get this you can’t eat it right away because you have to wait for it to cool down first or you will burn your mouth. But it is all good though because they also have strawberry kiwi slushies.”

“I like the sweet tart slushies.”

“If you go there and come back, bring some soft pretzels. They make them with ground kosher salt and they are nothing less than amazing.”

Crispy’s sneers as he exclaims “Curses to all of you I am going to blow this pathetic popsicle stand and score me some good stuff to eat.” He sneers with an evil laugh as he jumps out the window leading to the moat.

“I sure hope you filled the moat back up with water or he is never going to bring us any soft pretzels.”

“Why would I fill the moat? I drained the moat.”

“You are supposed to fill the moat after you drain the moat, didn’t you get the memo? I gave it to you last Friday on a yellow piece of paper.”

“Did it look like a bar napkin?”

“Java Junky if you please.”

“Well, if you have been thinking the memos are bar napkins that explains a lot.”

“Yuh think?”

Java Junky blasts our heroes with another bucket of water.

“With the water again? Really? I mean really?”

With a smile Java Junky replies “It does seem rather effective at getting your attention.”

The Queen sets her AA12 down alongside her throne just before sitting down. “Our kingdom is truly in your debt.”

Cell phone rings. Tuesday says “Hang on it’s my Mom.”

The Queen beckons “Here let me talk to her and I will tell her all about the heroic deeds you have done this morning.”

“Mom, hang on, someone wants to talk to you.” Tuesday hands his phone to the Queen.

“Well hello there I am Queen Cheez it and I would just like to tell you... why no ma'am I am not a new stripper, or barkeep, or a hooker considering changing my wayward ways... excuse me, oh really, you don’t say... why yes ma'am I will be sure to let the boys know... have a good day... you too ma'am.” While closing the phone her face betrays profound amazement. “Wow your Mom didn’t believe that I am the Queen, and it would seem that your Mom and your Mom are going shopping at Hy Vee and will not be able to make lunch today.”

“What! No lunch with Mom today? Oh! say it isn’t so.”

“Wow I always thought your Mom named you Tuesday so you would not forget to have lunch with her on Tuesday.”

The Queen adds “Oh yeah she said something about double coupons too.”

“Double coupons, you know that that means?”

“Yeah they will be gone all day.”

The Queen bellows “Well we will have a special day where we can hold a festival honoring all of our heroes, then you can invite your moms and there they will learn all about your heroic deeds. How about Wednesday?”

“We will be out of town tomorrow getting some new pizza ovens for O.J.’s.”

“What about Thursday?”

“Nope that won’t work either. On Thursdays we take hookers to their doctor appointments then over to O.J.’s for free lunch.”

“Where we try to talk them out of their wayward ways and try to steer them on to more fulfilling careers.”

“We feel it is our civic duty to help those who are less fortunate than us.”

Java Junky exclaims “How about next Tuesday? We can have the festival at the Bag and Save parking lot. You can bring your moms and still have taco Tuesday.”

Both Tuesday and Cake man agree that holding the festival next week on Tuesday would be a good thing, but it isn’t hard to figure out that they are still a little bummed about missing lunch today.
“What are we going to do for today?”

“I don’t know we always save the whole afternoon for lunch and maybe hitting some garage sales later on.”

The Queen says “The factories that make Cheez its, cake and orange juice were ransacked today. They might need your assistance?”

“Yeah I don’t know about that?”

“Yeah that sounds like a lot of work or something and we have already had a kind of a busy day already.”

“...you know, saving the kingdom and everything.”

Java Junky appears from the Queen's right hand side with a tray holding two drinks. “There may be damsels in distress at the factories in need of assistance of kind hearted heroes like yourselves.”

“I could do 'damsels in distress' how about you?”

“Me too. And we have the rest of today to help as many as we can.”

Java Junky offers each of our heroes a cup from her tray “These are specially blended sweet teas that will fortify for your afternoon.”

“Will they put hair on our chest amongst other things like the coffee you gave before?”

“No but you will be fortified in different ways and if you are fortified for more than four hours call me and let me know.”

Both the heroes snap to attention while feeling the invigorating effects of the sweet tea. With a gleam in their eyes the heroes politely excuse themselves from the Queen's court.

“Java Junky I would like thank you for saving me and my values today. Even us Queens have our weak moments.”

“It was no trouble my lady I will always be your right hand.”

“No, I really mean it Java Junky. Thank you.” Picking up the AA12, the Queen pops two grenade rounds on the left side then two rounds on the right side of the window Crispy jumped through. “Please have men dispatched to clean up the bodies in my hall and have the royal carpenters and masonry men meet me this afternoon about the veranda I mentioned before.”

“Yes my lady you are quite welcome and I will have the men dispatched as you wish.”

The Queen sets down her AA12 and in a Queenly fashion sits once again upon her throne.

Java Junky appears on the Queen’s right hand side with a tray and another cup of coffee.

While the Queen gracefully accepts the cup she asks “Is this our morning blend?”

With a pixie's smile once again on her face Java Junky replies “Why yes my lady it most certainly is.”

“Thank you Java Junky you are certainly a Godsend.”

“Thank you my lady. If I may be so bold as to inquire...”

“Yes Java Junky.”

“My husband will be off work early today and I have some sweet tea for him and I was wondering.”

With a smile and a chuckle “Yes Java Junky you may take the afternoon off. You have earned it and may take my leave with my blessing.”

“Thank you my lady.”

Soon after Java Junky leaves, quiet has once again claimed the Queen's court. The Queen takes a long draw of her coffee and then sets her cup down. She takes a deep breath then takes a quick look down her blouse. With a soft smile she beams “It's good to be the Queen.”


Howdy Rowdy. My name is Troy Prichard. I am 49 years old and I live in Omaha, Nebraska. I am not published, nor do I write professionally. I do have to admit I am really twisted, but I like it this way. In the long run I will write books but for the time being I am warming up with short stories. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it.