Questions #8 by Kendall Defoe

“Hello, how can I help you?”

“Yes, an espresso, please.”

“Double?”

“Sure.”

“Long?”

“Yup.”

“Okay, one espresso to go.”

“Ahh, no. It’s for here.”

“Here, sir?”

“Yes.”

“You know that we can make it to go, right, sir?”

“I know that… I want it for here.”

“It’s a bit crowded, sir.”

“So’s the sidewalk. And I don’t mind standing.”

“And there will be a rush soon…”

“Look, I have a lot of work to do and my patience is just about to run out. So just let me have my drink and I will worry about the seating arrangements.”

“Sir, I just think…”

“Listen, do you want to get paid?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“Well…no, sir. Not at all.”

“Have I done something to offend you?”

“Well…”

“Ah, I see. There is something I’ve done.”

“Your drink’s ready, sir.”

“Just hold it. What did I do?”

“Sir…”

“Come on.”

“Well, you know what makes this café so special, right, sir?”

“I can see it. Reason why I am the only one in line. Reason why the bravest of the brave are in their seats right now.”

“Right, well, the thing is, sir, we are the ones who are supposed to be this…exposed. Not the customers, sir.”

“Right. Topless.”

“Yes, sir. The problem is that you came in without your own top.”

“There is not sign saying, ‘No shoes, no shirt, no service’, so I figured…”

“Did you really think, sir, that it was okay to come in like this?”

“I just had the idea…”

“And it is cold, right, sir?”

“…a little.”

“A lot, sir. Don’t you feel it?”

“Well, hey, I’m Canadian.”

“So am I. But I wouldn’t… Sorry, I have another customer, sir.”

“All right. I’ll take it to go.”

“Already done, sir. Make sure you keep the lid on tight.”

“Right. Ha, ha…”

“Yes. Good day, sir… hello, how can I help you today, madam?”


Writer/Reader/Poet/Dreamer... Kendall is a college instructor, experimenter with the written word, and someone who thinks that books are worth saving. (Also: librarians and snail mail—damn you, Canada Post and certain school boards!) I just hope that someone gets a laugh and enjoys my work...