“…classy, sassy lassie seeks edgy guy with ambition. Must like a blonde her therapist calls ‘a lot of woman’ …” Craigslist New York
“…Feel shy? Have anxiety? Social-issues hypnosis may be the answer! With over 25 years of experience, Dr. Fred Nguyen offers help in just one session. Also cures irrational fears, destructive habits, O.C.D., inappropriate sexual urges, smoking, overeating, and more. Board Certified...” Display ad, Rolling Stone Magazine
“Stove and Chimney – After undergoing extensive renovation this Elizabethan-themed restaurant, which opens on Monday, replaces the old Rome restaurant owned by the same syndicate. It sports a wood-paneled-tavern look and specializes in huge portions of some pretty fundamental dishes...” The New York Times Dining Out/Dining In
“…our paths crossed Saturday night at the Stove and Chimney. You had an Asian male companion. I took your order. Our eyes connected, saying, ‘speak to me’. I foolishly let you go. You have blond hair and lots of curves, and both you and your friend drank Riesling...” Craigslist New York
“…when you took our order you said you were our ‘knave’ for the evening. How I wish it were true! I’ve had naughty thoughts of the things I would do to you as you lay tied to my bed begging for more! I’m sure nothing will come of this but I just had to say it out loud. Back to my fantasies...” Craigslist New York
“…you have read and responded to my postings here, but it's not the same as talking to you. Maybe I'm just a memory. I’ll stop by the restaurant (do you still work there?) and leave my number to make it easier for you, but I will not press you. I see my therapist on Mondays and Thursdays, but I’m available by phone any time. Do you even think about me?...” Craigslist New York
“Lost: Pink Motorola cell phone on Thursday somewhere between the Stove and Chimney tavern on Spring Street and the downtown #3 train stop at Houston around 6:30 PM. The screen saver is a picture of Dr. Fred Nguyen. $200 reward if found. The LCD screen on the outside doesn’t work, the flip is loose and I am expecting a vital phone call...” The New York Times Classifieds
“…you have come to the restaurant six times in the past two weeks. I caught what you said last night about being my lady, so I know you’re not stupid. One other thing. I’m not fond of seeing you in here with that Asian guy. Don’t be a floozy, it’s not attractive. And honestly, I’m a little jealous. I think you'll see this posting and I’m sure you'll know it’s me...” Craigslist New York
“… he turned off the football game and stared at me for about five minutes. He began to speak and at first I thought he was going to break up with me, so I started to plan to kill him. Then I could hardly believe what he said…I was just trying to breathe. Finally I said YES. There's a myth if you make a wish when the clock turns to 11:11 it will come true…” NYCWeddings.com
“…darling engaged couple looking for a roomy loft on Spring Street in Soho. Call…” Village Voice Classifieds
“…heartbroken over the loss of my engagement ring. Last seen at the Stove and Chimney tavern on Spring Street just before 2 A.M. Could possibly have been dropped in a cab I took to the offices of Dr. Fred Nguyen, 50th and First Avenue at about 2:30. If anyone found a ring last night, PLEASE contact me, this is the most important thing in the world and I have to find it…” The New York Times Classifieds.
“…if you still love me TOO LATE. You had your chance. Love doesn’t fix everything. If you need a booty call that’s one thing but forget about getting back together after you lost that ring...” Craigslist New York
“…so I lost the ring and you quit the restaurant. What lies ahead for us? Is it like nothing was ever a fantasy? Well, I still love you, so I’ll protect that love and defend it…” Craigslist New York
“Philanderer Flips Off His Fatty on Dr. Phil” New York Daily News Gossip
“Lose ninety pounds in two months! Find out how! Call…” New York Press Display ad
“Five days in Jamaica, furnished condo just steps from spa, beach access across the street…” Village Voice Classifieds
“For sale: Wedding gown, size 24. Ivory satin slip dress with a sixteen-foot train. Never worn. Call…” The New York Times Classifieds
“…height 5’8”, age 41, apparently moves from state to state taking advantage of vulnerable women, stealing their jewelry and identities. His job at the Stove and Chimney seemed to be his first gig as a waiter. He has a scar on one corner of his mouth. His tongue is pierced and he wears earrings in both ears most of the time. He has several tattoos. His hair is thinning so he keeps it short. May have recently visited the island of Jamaica. Cash reward for info leading to his whereabouts and prosecution. Call…” Craigslist New York
“Cleaners needs front counter person for downtown Baltimore branch. Piercings and tattoos O.K. but must be neat and clean. Benefits. Apply in person…” Baltimore Sun Classifieds
“Looking for a great group of friends? Come join The Upper West Side Lonely Hearts Club for lunch this Sunday. We meet at...” Craigslist New York
“…this singles workshop will focus on the dangers of social networking on the internet and how to protect your identity. Pizza will be served. Call…” New York Calendar, Tuesday
“Feel shy? Have anxiety? Social-issues hypnosis may be the answer! With over 25 years of experience Dr. Fred Nguyen offers help in just one session. Also cures irrational fears, destructive habits, OCD, inappropriate sexual urges, smoking, overeating, and more. Board Certified...” Display ad, Rolling Stone Magazine
#
Cynthia Drew's short stories have been published in numerous literary magazines and anthologies and her novel, City of Slaughter, will be released by Daniel and Daniel in March of 2012.