Lee Sharks: Contributor Bio by Jack Feist

Lee Sharks’ poems have appeared in Heaven, The White House, and Inside Your Brain All the Time, among other publications. He is the winner of numerous prizes, including Guggenheim and MacArthur fellowships. He has used his MacArthur money to replace his friends and family with moving statues made of rubies.

Lee Sharks holds eighteen degrees from the planet Mars. He worked for each of them in a tiny office inside his brain which he had to miniaturize himself to fit into. On a tiny, old-fashioned typewriter he typed the tiny theses and books that would eventually make his name by kidnapping and miniaturizing famous intellectuals and forcing them to read them or else he would let a dinosaur bite them.

Lee Sharks is an amateur dinosaur enthusiast who bites himself in the face with dinosaurs and builds small mental skyscrapers designed by tortured modernist architects out of dinosaur names in his brain.

Lee Sharks is the author of numerous books of esoteric brilliance and learned expertise, and also books of poignant sentiment, of down-to-earth practical wisdom, and also books which have become central to the way you live your life without your even noticing it.

Lee Sharks often allows the intellectuals he kidnaps to live and return to normal size, provided they agree to like or pretend to like his tiny books. Others, he murders and disposes of.

One day, Lee Sharks was reading his tiny books and found that he himself disliked them. He therefore bit himself with a dinosaur and replaced himself with a moving statue made of rubies, which is how he became a famous intellectual.