Simeon Ben's Hot Pocket

Enriched Flour (Wheat Flour, Malted Barley Flour, Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Hydrogenated Angel Dust, Riboflavin, Folic Acid, Less than 2% Yoga Mat, Salt), Water®, Reduced Fat Mozzarella Cheese Product (Modified Food Starch, Palmitate, Inoculated Yersinia Pestis Culture, Kallikrein 6 Enzyme, Salt, Part Skim & Nonfat Milk [both Drawn from our Queen’s Hundreds of Fully Adjustable for Fat Content Udders {Churned And Fermented by Chetniks of the Sixth Level of Pātāl}]), Pepperoni (Pork-Beef-Lama-Mule Mixture [Blood, Heart, Cheek, Lung, Liver, Lips, Eyes, Nodes, Hoof, Omasum, Tail, Oysters, Assorted Trim], Chicken, Carrier Pigeon, Modified Juvenile Koi, Periplaneta and Gryllidae Protein [all Humanely Housed in Communal Indoor Habitats and Relaxed with Nocturne French Horn Concertos, Message Therapy, and Nitrous Oxide before Processing {Pinky Swears}], Dextrose, Spices [JWH-018 through JWH-057], Salt, Lactic Acid Starter, Oleoresin of Ibogaine, Garlic Powder, Sodium Nitrite, BHA, DMT, NWA, BHT, GHB, PCP, OPP, YA, U-KNO, ME, MDA, LM, NOP, Lysergic and Citric Acid Diethylamide [to Protect Flavor]), Tomato Paste, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Less than 2% High Fructose Concentrate, Less than 1% Dehydrated Human Gallbladder, Partially Sentient Palm Kernel Oil, Seasoning (Bread Crumb, Phase 4 Advanced Corn Flour, Salt, Dextrose, Candida Yeast, Dehydrated & Delineated & Desensitized Garlic, Tomato Analog Powder, Spice [JWH-073 through JWH-123], Salt, Dextrose, Corn Maltodextrin, Naturally Conceivable Flavors), Yeast, Salt, Dough Conditioner (Calcium Sulfate, Salt, L-Cysteine [Poultry Feather, Human Hair {Fermented with E-Coli Mutation}], Garlic Powder, Tricalcium Phosphate, Buffo Alvarins Toad Enzyme [for Texture, Salivation & Salvation Properties]), Modified Food Starch, Seasoning (Synthetic Garlic Aura, Chili Powder, Adrenachrome, Monosodium Glutamate, Emulsified Pituitary, Endocrine & Pineal Gland, Some Salt, a Pinch of Scopolamine [Devil’s Breath {for Taste Compliance Properties}]), Flavor (Onion Extract, Soul of Minion, Anal Gland of Beaver, Fine China HCL), Sodium Chloride, Artificial Butter (Maltodextrin, Salt, Medium Chain Triglycerides, Synthetic Lactose Drawn from Utter No 266 [Brewed and Churned by Māntriks of the Seventh Level of Pātāl {Prepared In Accordance with Our Dark Lord’s Manual of Commandments & Standard Practices), a Dash More Salt, Whey, Soy Flour, Egg Whites, Soybean Oil.

Heat Thoroughly and Enjoy! (Keep Out of Reach of Children! May Cause Birth Defects in Pregnant Women!)

Simeon Ben is a window cleaner (known in certain circles as the “Golden Boy” because of his early mastership of the squeegee arts) from Salt Lake City who one day left his birthplace, crossed endless spans of desert and lonely mountain ranges—surviving on rain water, crickets, and the dollar menu alone—and ended up in California where, drawn by the intoxicating smell of jet fuel and suntan oil, settled in San Diego, “Americas Finest City.” Currently, he is impersonating a “Mr Smarty-Pants Grad-Student” at SDSU, where, surprisingly, he has found that many have yet to experience the transformative and transcending effects of processed-foods-based prose poetry. He also still cleans windows, so if you or anyone you know in the San Diego area need your windows serviced, he's likely available. If you enjoyed “Hot Pocket,” make sure to check out the spring edition (goes live April 15) of Boston Literary Magazine to read another fast-food related poem entitled “Self Portrait of Cheesy Gordita Crunch.”