I Like Tuesdays by Troy Prichard

FROM across the room I see her. The new nurse is bringing me my orange juice like she said she would. I like her; she is really nice to me. I don’t even mind that she touched my shoulder as she set my cup down upon the table. I like orange juice. I like Tuesdays. Nervously both my feet are sort of bracing myself in anticipation of drinking from the cup sitting calmly in front of me. I like orange juice.
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...exclaimed the bleeding Chocolate Ninja. “My syrupy blood is getting in your milk!”. To this, the glass of milk responded with obvious disdain, “Dim” he disagreed in his thick upper welsh accent, “I synied mau llaeth sy cymysgiad ym dy syrupy blood”.

Henry Palmer sluggishly made his way down the hallways of Thomas Jefferson High toward room 21E. He walked quietly, pressed tightly up against the cool metal lockers, oblivious to the students flowing down the hallway like salmon swimming upstream. He swerved and ducked to avoid the flying elbows and swinging backpacks of jocks horsing around in the crowded school corridors.

This here’s a bit of a comin’ of age romance that makes no sense, has no growth and just seeks to merely enthrall. Consider this my Huck Finn plagiarization. Consider plagiarization a new word I just coined. Throw away all the rules is what I means to say. I’s a gonna lie to you and you’s a just gonna have to deal with it. They say lies cover up the pain. They say denial is the only way to get by. Get it? Got it? Good?

I.

i know i should have said this long ago
but you are the source
of every hand's inspired glide
across my cell-phone's face

What have I done to my life?! Seriously. I've done something horrible. I didn't focus in high school and now I have no prospects whatsoever. My god, this is awful. I have to face the fact that I soon must become a total degenerate to survive. Should I enter poilitics? Become a professional gambler? Huff asbestos every day for two years then contact the law offices of Dr. James Sokolove? I really don't want to have to get mesothelioma but it is quite possible that I might be forced to.