My Blue Velvet (1986). by Maya Stahler

Kyle MacLachlan is so hot!


upstairs in my closet
         I’m watching
         a movie with sex
in my favorite lacey
        shorts I’m
drawing a pentacle
        with a fat sharpie
into the hairy grey shag
        that stellates
        out with each icy stroke
a shrine to my
        favorite horse god
I pretend I’m Dorothy, the girl
        red/red rose yellow tulip
growing through our holes growing

clutch&clutch my grandpa
        on the chainsaw outside
a pebble hitting my head oh, Jeffrey
this is my
               summer in
                Oregon Land
I pet the soft hair
        brown tufts
                around his ear
I pretend I’m Sandy, the other girl
I’m pretty enough to love
        I’m splitting down the middle

        horse god laughs
        speaks like Jeffrey
        says neigh neigh
                         and holds my arm
        when the boys catcall

I let him
        tell me we’re going out
        on a brown walk through trees
red car snuff&snuff me out on coffee
shared air at the diner alright

I end it there cut the tape freeze it
         a million robins fall to the dirt
         strange pods of bug meat
         skewered by dainty bones

cola still
        wet on his tongue as we play
I spy
        my bright boy
        hooves and
noxious blood touches
in a pinked out room

        more trees again losing their
        leaves outside my window
Jeffrey can’t pick me up or my
dad’ll think I’m a whore again
as I slow club waltz down the
driveway’s turn tugging at
the pointelle of my shorts
        stretch wide movie star!
        I swing scissors with my hands

I’ll be sweet all night
        mare erotica
throw a pebble at the side
        of his imaginary car door
        and whisper a name
over banana cream pie
        to my own private horse god

Jeffrey lets me nick his face
        when we touch bodies at knife point
cause he makes me cry
        hold my lolling head when I get scared

I try to sing him a cover of a song he knows

yeah he says yeah

Maya Stahler is a poet from Oregon who is currently a poetry MFA candidate at the Iowa Writers' Workshop. Her most recent work appears/is forthcoming in Longleaf Review, BRUISER Magazine, and Beaver Magazine. @MayaStahler